Listen Connect Heal
Discover how to connect with the Earth, plants and creatures around you through the power of music. This is for everybody, no matter how much or how little musical experience you have. Walk with me as I learn how to listen and let go, and allow the Earth to play music through me.
Journalling my Journey
I am creating this website as a way to share my experience in learning to listen, connect and heal through the power of music.
This journey for me started early in 2021 when something made me purchase a Kalimba online after being captivated by the tone and melodies it produces. It was a spur of the moment decision, but has brought me some incredible experiences and revelations that have changed and shaped my life and the way I view the world. I want to share with you my personal experiences, but I also want you to discover the magic for yourself. After reading what I have to share, I encourage you to experience the power of listening and improvisation yourself, with the online workshop I have created. You are a creative being and whether you have years of musical experience of none at all, this is all for you!
Below are the recordings of my improvisations that are there for you to listen whilst you read to allow your mind to settle into a more relaxed and open state.
Learning to Listen
This journal is going to document the experiences I have had whilst learning how to listen, improvise and connect with my environment.
Even at the beginning of my own personal journey, I feel incredibly grateful for how much I know and believe. This knowing comes from a place that I can’t quite describe, but I only know that it has always been there. Even though I am a human and I experience the constant nagging from the voice in my brain, that tries to disprove and rationalise every part of magic that I encounter through my practice of communicating with nature; I feel truly grateful for the bigger part of me that is able to ignore it and to continue exploring this side of life that is unseen.
When I first got the Kalimba, I was excited to get outside and play, after reading about the healing powers of sound and instrument playing. I am lucky in the sense that I feel I am usually able to push through the thoughts of doubt and judgement that arise in the beginning. However in the beginning stages of improvisation these thoughts can be quite overbearing and unsettling.
One of the most important and valuable things that I have done to help overcome these thoughts is learning about the power of listening. I now see listening as something more than just passive, and can be used to connect with our environment on a much deeper level than we are used to. By taking time to be still, listen and become aware of my surroundings it brings me to another level of presence in my practice. Every time I notice my thoughts taking over, I simply take a moment to listen deeply.
First I listen to my breath, which is the most important thing to become aware of and keep coming back to. I breathe deeply and listen to my surroundings. I focus on the sounds I hear and imagine where they are coming from. There is always something to listen to, even if sometimes it is only the steady whisper of my breath, still I listen.
Shifting the body shifts the sound
There is a shift that happens when I notice that my mind is trying to take over and make sense of the sounds I'm creating. Just by me noticing this, I am able to make space in my being and my mind has less control. It is a really difficult process to let go and lose the control that comes from knowing and thinking about what to play. It's freeing but also scary to try and forget the aspects that I am used to when creating music.
In the moment that I notice that I am trying to create something that makes sense I immediately remind myself that it's not what I am here for.
I am discovering new ways in this practice that help me to let go of this sense of control. Firstly, whenever I feel this stiffness and rigidity within the sounds of the Kalimba, I also notice that my body is not relaxed. I am tense, my shoulders are lifted and my jaw is clenched. Just by taking a second to breathe deep, relax my face and drop my shoulders it drastically changes the way I feel about the sounds that I make.
There is a magic that I have experienced that occurs in the moments that I truly let go and listen. It is easy to focus too strongly on my own being and the judgement that comes from my mind about how the music must sound sweet and perfect. However, the sweetness of the sound does not come when I am seeing through my judging mind and trying to create something that has structure and sense.
Playing on the Wind
The magic that I speak about is something that is hard to describe and put into words. It is a feeling of deep connection to the Earth that I am greateful to be able to experience, and excited to share.
A really important aspect of this practice for me has been to focus my attention and my ears to the Earth and the sounds and movements it makes. The rain, wind, clouds and sun are such huge factors and all have a powerful energy that affects us in different ways. The weather has a deep power over humans and by learning to flow with the constant changes plays a vital part when looking to expand our connection and awareness.
The weather inspires and guides me through every time that I sit down and practice, and using the Earth's guidance I notice a magic that comes over me as I play in time with the changes.
This recording above 'Playing on the Wind', is one where both my environment and in turn my being and playing shifted throughout. I began in quite an erratic style of playing and was in the mode of trying to create sense with melody and time but at the same time being aware of this and trying to break out by chaotically hitting new notes. I was not yet relaxed and free, I was still trying to create with performance and judgement in mind. As the birds begin to sing I feel more relaxed immediately and allow for some space in the playing to create a sense of wholeness and peace in my environement. Part of the practice of improvisation is discovering new passages and melodies by a random force and then weaving them in and seeing how they evolve and fit into the moment.
In the first few minutes of improvising it can be quite unsettling and everything just sort of feeling wrong, but that doesn't mean that anything is wrong at all! In fact, these feelings are incredibly important to have and to sit with and to keep playing with these feelings at the back of your mind. By persisting and playing through these thoughts, a breakthrough will happen when you no longer will be listening to your thoughts, but instead to the Earth. In turn as we listen and play to the world, it will play back through us within the music.
As the wind picked up during this moment of playing I felt myself merging and flowing with the movement around me. I watch and listen to the trees, how they sway and dance and in turn, I play on the wind. I am no longer in my thinking mind now, and it feels so free.
I let go and my fingers are dancing on the Kalimba inspired by the falling leaves that are floating down beside me.
The birds are singing again and I let them guide me and I give myself space to listen. I am playing to the birds and they are singing back and I try to mimick their song in my playing. This is where the connections happen and the magic occurs. The wind picks up at the end and I feel connected, I feel its breeze and allow it to flow through me.
The Trees are Listening
A huge part of this practice is overcoming and facing the fear of judgement, both from yourself and perhaps from nearby listeners. This has been something that I am still facing every time I go outside and sit with my Kalimba. My garden is overlooked by neighbours and people can definitely hear me playing, which can on occasion cause me to feel like I have to perform and play with the intention of sounding nice for whoever might be listening. It is these thoughts that cause me to forget the true importance and the reason that I am delving into the practice of listening and improvisation. I am doing this to connect with my surroundings and form a deeper relationship with the Earth and environment.
Music is an incredible pathway of connection from humans to nature, and every time I go to play the Kalimba outside I need to remind myself that it's not myself or other people that I need to play for in these moments, but for the trees. The trees, plants, flowers and bees are always listening. The snails and spiders and birds and cats are listening too, and never judging.
In times during my practice that I find my judging mind start to creep in and whisper nasty words, I take my attention back into the space I am in and focus on something that I want to connect to. Sometimes it will be the robins that fly from tree to tree and collect worms to bring to their babies. I watch them and listen deeply to their song and by doing so, my fingers on the Kalimba simply carry on but the energy that is moving them is now from a place of love and connection, rather than judgement.
It's important to remember that the musical aspect of this practice is probably the least important part. There is no right or wrong sound or melody that will tell you that you are now connected to the environment. This practice comes from a deeply spiritual place, the sound is only a vessel for the energy that you hold inside.
Letting go
This time I felt the power of letting go.
It is a grey day with patches of blue sky that sneak through, the wind flows steadily and I use it as a reminder to breathe. I'm feeling quite disconnected and in my head. It is the squirrels that first invite me to pay attention to the exterior, and catch my eye as they jump from branch to branch. One runs across the fence and pauses, looking at me, as if to see what I am doing. This is what makes me pick up the kalimba and play, because I want to connect with my environment.
An alarm goes off and almost makes me think to stop recording and start again, but I'm realising that every sound that happens is a part of the wholeness of the world.
Every single time I practice I have to face the judgement and worry that comes from within and that is okay! It reminds me that I am overcoming it because I carry on and I play for my surroundings.
I am focusing on the outer and look away from the kalimba. I spot a flower that I hadn't noticed in the garden before and watch as a bee flies in. All along I am breathing deeply and letting my fingers take over. I hold my focus on the flower and watch and listen. A fly buzzes past my ear and makes me think about its journey and all the tiny little worlds there are within this one garden. A squirrel jumps to a nearby branch and I watch as they collect a piece of fruit. The squirrels chase and scramble up the trees and I feel greatful to be a part of this moment.
I feel how the sound is moving and reaching out as I hear a neighbour tend to their garden. And again I have to face the mind that tries to worry me about what they might be thinking about the sounds I'm making. In this practice I let go and allow the melodies to come without worry. I feel like I belong in this space because I am here and my sound is here. The bees do not worry about their buzzing, or the birds about their singing, the aeroplane will still roar over my head and the cars will honk their horns. I too am realising every time that I play, that my sound has meaning no matter what it may be, because I am doing it with the intention of love. This is the only thing that matters now.
I feel more connected to this space that I play in, this same place every time. The sounds and the energy that I play here make a difference and bond me to the Earth. It reminds me that I will always be able to feel connected and safe in a space when I listen and when I respond with my sound. It is so comforting to know.
The changes within
Since beginning the practice of improvising on my Kalimba outside, I feel a true and deep connection to myself and to the Earth. There are things that go on inside my mind that I would often ignore and push aside, but this journey gave me time and space to truly listen and feel.
I feel that this has made me open up to the wholeness of the world around me and to be constantly listening and aware of the changes that happen both outside and inside. When we are listening we are loving.
Though I still do struggle with thoughts of worry and doubt, this practice has allowed me and still allows me to overcome them. It has made me more confident in my self and my ability to create. It has also opened my eyes to the power of this practice so much so that I am inspired to continue my journey in sharing this with other people by looking into how to make this my life work.
The place in which I play, my garden here in London now feels completely different than it did when I first began. I now feel a connection to every tree that watches over, the flowers that have grown and withered over the months and the creatures that come and go inspiring new melodies inside of me. There is a real power to this practice that I wish for everyone to experience as I have, as I believe there is so much good that will come through listening, connecting and healing.
Workshop - Listen, Connect, Heal
Subtitle
This is a workshop that I have created for you to try and experience the magic of connecting with nature yourself. You can do this in whichever way feels natural to you, using an instrument, your voice or simply just by listening.
If you can, please do this workshop in an outside environment where you can focus on the beauty of nature around you. If not, then bringing a plant or flower into your space as a natural thing to focus on is just as good!
Begin by noticing your breath.
Observe this natural cycle that moves throughout your body, and start to deepen each inhale and exhale.
Continue to listen deeply around you, and notice how certain sounds affect you and make you feel.
As you become aware of the constant flow of your breathing you are becoming more intune with the flow of the Earth.
Keep your attention on your breath and start to listen to the sounds that form around you.
Continue breathing deeply and listen to the soft sound of waves that your breath creates.
Envision yourself as a tree, with roots that grow down deep into the earth. Think about the sound these roots might make as they grow further and further down to the core of the Earth.
Choose something in your environment that draws you in, this could be a tree, a leaf, a bug or a cloud. Now focus your energy onto your chosen object and breath deeply with the intention of love towards it.
What sounds can you hear in this moment, and how do they make you feel?
What sound represents your object of focus?
Breathe deeply with the intention of connecting to your environment, and invision each breath renewing and refreshing both you and your environement.
Become aware of the natural movement and sound occuring around you. Notice the pace of the wind, the clouds in the sky or the bugs that fly past.
If you are using an instrument, begin playing when you feel ready. Allow for your body to relax and to move in whichever way it decides to. You do not have to think.
There is no right or wrong way to do this, you will find your own path and connect in your own ways.
Continue to listen deeply to the sounds happening all around you. Can you
use your instrument as a means of communicating and responding to these sounds?
Allow for pauses and space to gather your energy and give yourself time to breathe.
Whenever you notice that you are not breathing deeply, come back to your breath and listen as it flows.
Take your time and play until you feel ready to stop.
The magic that comes from this practice is out there for you, and I am so excited for you to experience it. Do not feel ashamed if it is difficult at first, it will only get easier.
Play from your soul and listen to the changes within.
“Listen to everything all the time and remind yourself when you are not listening.” - Pauline Oliveros
Thank you
Rescources
Here are some incredibly valuable rescources that helped guide me and inspired my work, that I highly reccomend if you are interested in learning more.
Altidor Cespedes, S. (2017). A Spiritual Perspective on Solo Musical Improvisation: A Music Therapist’s Heuristic Journey.
Gaynor, M. (2002). The Healing Power of Sound. Canada: Shambhala Publications, Inc.
Kandinsky, W., & Sadleir, M. (2008). Concerning the spiritual in art. Waiheke Island: Floating Press.
Mbira in Shona Culture - MBIRA. (2021). https://mbira.org/what-is-mbira/mbira-music/the-role-of-mbira-in-shona-culture/
Nast, C. (2021). Listening as Activism: The “Sonic Meditations” of Pauline Oliveros. Retrieved 14 August 2021, from https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/listening-as-activism-the-sonic-meditations-of-pauline-oliveros
Oliveros, P. (1971). Sonic Meditations. https://monoskop.org/images/0/09/Oliveros_Pauline_Sonic_Meditations_1974.pdf
Oliveros, P. Quantum Listening: From Practice to Theory (To Practice Practice). [Blog]. Retrieved from https://s3.amazonaws.com/arena-attachments/736945/19af465bc3fcf3c8d5249713cd586b28.pdf
Ungunmerr-Bauman, M. (2021). 2012 [TV]. www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2YMnmrmBg8.
van Boeckel, J. (2017). Culture in Sustainability: Towards a Transdisciplinary Approach (pp. pp.143-160). SoPhi, Department of Social Sciences and Philosophy University of Jyväskylä, Finland.
